FAQ 22


I’m a mother who has a daughter attending a junior high school. The other day there was something wrong with her.  I didn’t know about a trouble between her and  her friend because she didn’t talk about it in detail. My daughter has got bullied a little before. So I was put on the alert at first.  But this time I was a little bit different from what I used to be.

  • daughter 娘
  • attend 出席する
  • there is something wrong with A Aはどこかおかしい
  • got bullied いじめられる
  • be put on the alert 警戒する
  • at first 最初は
  • what I used to be 以前の私

I used to blame a bully, but this time I was able to think that it’s time for her to be tested for her development. And I was grateful for it. I wondered if this trouble was a kind of punishment for what we did. And I was sure this trouble would make both of us grow up.

  • blame 責める
  • bully いじめっこ
  • test 試す
  • wonder if S+V SはVするのかしらと思う
  • punishment 罰

When holding a memorial service for my ancestors, I transmitted my gratitude to them. And offering a third incense stick, I said to the spirits of her friend’s ancestors “Thank you so much for telling us a lot of important things.” Is this strange? On the same day, my daughter came back home and told me that she was able to spend the day with her as usual. She looked cheerful. I was happy to see her smile, thinking that nothing compares to a child’s smile. I hope they will get along well with each other.

  • transmit 伝える
  • gratitude 感謝の気持ち
  • strange 奇妙な
  • as usual いつものように
  • nothing compares to A Aに匹敵するものはない

In such a case, should I be grateful for the friend ? I just wanna grow up more for the sake of her, too. Thanks to you, I’ve come to understand what it is like to be grateful.

  • get along well with A Aと仲良くやっていく
  • for the sake of A Aのために
  • thanks to A Aのお蔭で
  • come to~ 〜するようになる
  • what it is like to be~ 〜であるとはどういうことか


Such troubles are not punishments but stimuli for the development of a soul which can be only experienced as long as humans live. If you’re determined to accept those troubles in spite of anxiety, they will soon be over. There is no karma thing about this case, so just live strong. When you offer a third incense stick, it is very effective for you to be grateful to the friend’s ancestors spiritually speaking.

  • stimuli 刺激
  • development 発達
  • as long as S+V SがVする限り
  • humans 人間
  • be determined to~ 〜する決心をしている
  • accept 受け入れる
  • in spite of A Aにも関わらず
  • be over 終わる
  • effective 効果的な

To be sure it is also effective to say to them “Is your offspring doing the right thing?” in your heart, but to be grateful to them is the best way because it has no side effects on you and the other. To admonish your daughter and her friend could make the trouble more complicated. It is much more effective than you think to offer gratitude to the friend and her ancestors in silence.

  • to be sure 確かに
  • offspring 子孫
  • side effect 副作用
  • admonish 注意する
  • complicated 複雑な
  • in silence 無言で

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