FAQ 11-12


I have a question about a memorial service for a Mizuko(水子), a dead baby’s spirit. I heard ancestors and babies live in different places in the other world. Though I learned at some religious group meeting that I have to hold a memorial service for a dead baby’s spirit with love and penitence, but I haven’t been able to do that well. I think I have had my baby feel painful and lonely. What kind of words should I say to him? What is the best way to hold a memorial service for dead babies’s spirits?

  • the other world あの世
  • religious 宗教の
  • penitence 懺悔
  • admit 認める
  • painful 苦しい
  • lonely 孤独な


When you hold a memorial service for the ancestors of your husband’s family line, the third incense stick you offer takes care of your dead baby’s spirit you had before marriage, while dead babies you had after marriage can be taken care of by the first two incense sticks because they are among the ancestors of your present family line.  After offering three incense sticks for the whole ancestors, say “Thank you so much for keeping us alive,” toward your dead babies, because you are now living at the expense of their lives. It is important for you not to forget about them. If you forget, they feel jealous of your kids and are likely to have a bad influence on them. Offer gratitude saying “Thank you so much for keeping us alive.” Remember that you can lead lives because the babies sacrificed themselves. You can think that when you remember them, they are actually close to you.

  • family line 家系
  • incense stick 線香
  • offer 捧げる
  • marriage 結婚
  • take care of A Aの世話をする
  • at the expense of A Aを犠牲にして
  • feel jealous 嫉妬する
  • have influence on A Aに影響を与える
  • sacrifice 犠牲にする


When I had a hard time, I came across your blog and have been able to be positive since I started to hold a memorial service for my ancestors. My surroundings were getting better and better and I came to be grateful for many things everyday, but one day a married man approached me and I had an affair because of my weakness and loneliness. I really respect him and love him so much. Since I don’t think I can stop this feeling and because of a sense of guilt for his family, I suffer great pain every time I hold a memorial service. How do you think my ancestors see me? Is it OK for me to continue holding the service despite this pain?

  • come across A Aに出くわす
  • positive 積極的な
  • surroundings 状況
  • come to~ 〜するようになる
  • married man 既婚者
  • approach 言い寄る
  • have an affair 不倫をする
  • weakness 弱さ
  • loneliness 孤独
  • respect 尊敬する
  • sense of guilt 罪悪感
  • despite A Aにもかかわらず


Please keep on holding memorial services as much as possible, or you won’t be able to look at the situation objectively and you’ll find yourself in a very bad condition. It is because you hold memorial services that you can feel a sense of guilt. The outcome of adultery is 100% miseries of those related. There cannot be happiness while someone is crying. So if you continue the relationship, you have to pay the price. The reason you feel pain in holding the service is because your ancestral spirits are trying to stop you from having an affair. But they can’t stop you because living human beings with a physical body are stronger than spirits in this World of Reality. The World of Reality is not only where human beings can do anything they want but also where their deeds are tried. This is something you should fear in a way. Just keep on holding memorial services for the sake of your ancestors so that you can sustain your conscience, or Inner God.

  • keep on ~ing 〜し続ける
  • as ~ as possible 可能な限り〜
  • objectively 客観的に
  • adultery 不倫
  • outcome 結果
  • misery 悲惨
  • cry 泣く
  • pay the price 代償を払う
  • ancestral 先祖の
  • stop A from ~ing Aが〜するのを止めさせる
  • physical 物質的な
  • deed 行い
  • try 試す
  • fear 恐れる
  • in a way ある意味で
  • for the sake of A Aのために
  • sustain 維持する
  • conscience 良心
  • Inner God 内在神

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